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The Gutsiest Thing I Ever Did

The time I traveled out of the country with a team I barely knew, and how it changed my worldviews



I was 17 and in the middle of my junior year of high school. My best friend had invited me on a youth winter retreat with her church group. These were kids she had been spending summers and winters with for several years- they were all close and shared abundant memories together. I was the newbie, no ties with anyone but my best friend. I spent the majority of that weekend following her around, just happy to be spending my wintry weekend in a cabin in the woods. Then one night, the prayer session led to an announcement of an upcoming mission trip that coming summer. At first I politely listened, I had no plans of considering on trying to go. Up until that moment I had been on two separate mission trips- one near Bethlehem, PA and the other by the Appalachian Trail in Kentucky. Both had been with my youth group, people I grew up with, and were within the borders of my own country. I had gotten a taste of poverty on these trips, but I was still well within my comfort zone and didn't feel like I was fully grasping the point of these trips. And then I heard where the next trip would be heading....Haiti.


“Here I am Lord, send me" - Isaiah 6:8

This was a scary step. At this point in my life I had never left the country. Not only would I be traveling a far distance to someplace foreign, I would potentially be going with a group of people I just met that weekend. But the verse Isaiah 6:8 felt like it was echoing in my head all night. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was hard to explain but I just knew deep down God was calling me to take this step and go on that mission trip. So I did, and it is still one of the best decisions I ever made.



The whole trip was life changing. Every comfort zone I had previously had was torn away. I was forced to experience fully the fact that I was in a different country, where I didn't speak the language or know the culture, and being with a group I barely knew. Additionally, this trip managed to shift my entire outlook on the world and what the purpose of mission trips should be. All my life I believed the notion that missionaries were these heroes who went to third world countries and taught the people there about Jesus. There would be a Vacation Bible School (VBS) set up, pulling people off the street to pray for their salvation, and somewhere we would end up cleaning and painting a building. And if we couldn't (or didn't want to) volunteer, we all felt good donating money to towards mission trips, feeling it was a worthy cause. Which it is, but the mindset had become so muddled up.


From the moment I signed up for the Haiti trip it was stressed that the focus was going to be less of a mission trip and more of an immersive, relationship-building one. We were to enter the country and experience the culture, get to learn about the people for who they truly were- their hopes, dreams, passion- instead of the stereotypes we had grown accustomed to. One of the biggest wake up calls for me was about halfway through the trip, we visited a local church, that met daily in this tiny shack of a building. They met without fail- through poverty, floods, earthquakes, and numerous other hardships. Once the village was flooded after a storm, and the church members still gathered with the water up to their knees, to pray and fast to God. Their commitment and steadfast faith in God was humbling. These were people who had so little in possessions and opportunities, whereas I was rich in comparison. I remember thinking throughout the week, "we are not bringing Jesus here to these people, He's already here, He's already at work here." The faith and love for God that the people I met in Haiti did not mean they didn't deal with enormous hardships. We spent the majority of our time at an orphanage, where the children either were orphaned for a number of reasons or had parents but were forced to live there out of desperation. The Haitian people were still dealing with the aftermath of the 2010 earthquake. Three years later and I saw people still terrified to step inside buildings for long periods of times. Makeshift tents replaced the crumbling structures of their homes and stores. In spite of all this, the people I came in contact with were the kindest, selfless, and passionate I ever had the pleasure of knowing. Even though it's been almost seven years since that trip, I still think of it often. I can remember the smiling faces of my new friends, the sweltering heat, the beautiful landscapes, and the powerful feeling of God's love in every aspect of the country. God's presence was surrounding every conversation, every interaction, every memory. I will never look at mission trips and strangers the same again.


I strive daily to remember that although God can use me as a tool in His great plans, I am not this hero who is bringing Jesus to others as if He is so small I can fit Him in a box. He is already making things happen long before I reach the destination, I just need to listen for His directions on where to go next.

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